She Might Puke on Your Shoes, But She'll Pick Up The Tab

One of MTV Iggy’s 12 best female emcees, UK grime star Lioness handles the mic with unmatched ferociousness. We asked the British rapper how her love life rolls for our rockstar love confessions series, cause a woman who prowls the stage like she does is sure to know all about capturing a man and dragging him back to her lair…right?

Um, well. Sort of.

Turns out that the hard-hitting, lyrical destroyer has a softer side. A fun, girly, goofy, hilariously chatty side. Whatever “level” (as she puts it) we’re on, we want to be on it with Lioness — drinking champagne, swapping date-night horror stories, and staying away from the cheese tray.

What’s your most memorable/worst/funniest Valentine’s Day date?

 Oh, Lord. So my boyfriend and I went to a fancy restaurant last year and it was time for dessert. We looked around at everyone’s tables and they were ALL having cheese for dessert. So we thought, frig it! Let’s get involved with these posh peoples!

We ordered the “Four Cheeses” and the plan was to try all the different cheeses so we could “fit in.” Some new kinds of cheese were presented to us. Mouldy, gooey, jelly types… YUK!!!

But nonetheless we tried them all. I ate the mouldy cheese and was feeling confident! Went on to the gooey cheese and it was disgusting!!!! I only had red wine to wash it down with.

So I’d drunk the wine and felt immediately sick and threw up ALL over the floor and on my boyfriend’s shoes and the WHOLE –when I say WHOLE–restaurant turned and looked at me in disgust. So much for fitting in!

 What is the most hated Valentine’s Day tradition in your country?

I think the whole day is hated! Well, for my age group anyways, these watless [edit note: clueless] boys ALWAYS try and avoid the day without fail. This day puts SO many relationships on the rocks that it’s unreal. Puts stuff in to perspective for girls a lot of the time too. I call the day “levels” – coz the level you’re on will be shown!

If you really did want to impress someone on Valentine’s Day, what would you do?

Hmmm… throw money at him! Buy him some designer clothes to wear that night. Show up at his house with the clothes wrapped up and the chauffeur waiting outside. Champagne waiting in the car, swanky restaurant, private room then back to a plush hotel where I’d give him the best treat of his life.

 If you HAD to pick the most romantic song ever, what would pick and why?

I think “Kissing You” By Desiree… I’m looking to dance to it on my wedding day. Tune’s SO deep and it represents love in the highest fashion. Romeo and Juliet Style!