Get Ready for 2012′s Mayan Apocalypse with 10 Future-Annihilating Songs
Prepare Your iPod for Doomsday
Yep, it’s 2012. Our time is running out. The Mayan calendar (sort of) mandates that on (maybe) December 21, the heavens will descend upon the earth, winged horses will bludgeon us all, and we’ll have to wear spiked leather codpieces.
Unfortunately, there’s not much you can do to stop it. But with our help, you can prep your headphones for the occasion.
Here’s an apocalypse mixtape for all your End is Nigh needs.
1. Skrillex — “First of the Year”
One can only hope the end of days is as awesome and vengeful as this. Set to monstrous, earth-shattering dubstep, the apocalypse according to Skrillex will punish the wicked.
2. Mustard Pimp — “Figaro Fist Pump”
Photo Courtesy of Getty Images
For the Jerseyites and Jersey-philes, you’ll need a face-melting, groundshaking fist-pumper to underscore the fall of man. France’s Mustard Pimp has a million such ditties, but this one was Jersey Shore soundtrack approved. So raise your fist with one hand, and wipe away a tear for the utter annihilation of the planet with another — here’s “Figaro Fist Pump.”
3. Systema Solar — “Malpalpitando”
Photo Courtesy of Systema Solar
The apocalypse will be unsure and grating, so your music should be, too. this Pre-Hispanic, folktronic track from Systema Solar out of Colombia would make a pile of bricks nervous.
4. Death Grips — “Guillotine (It Goes Yah)”
You’ll want Sacramento’s Death Grips on your side when it all goes down. You really don’t want this guy mad at you.
5. AV Okubo — “Breakwave”
AV Okubo’s Chinese punk rock video for “Breakwave” is essentially a handy play-by-play of what you’ll face at world’s end — from a dictatorial takeover, to a laser-spewing ping-pong match, to your descent into a fiery vortex.
6. Mexicans with Guns — “Dame Lo”
Photo Courtesy of Nichole McCall/MTV Iggy
If you could distill the sounds of vengeance from the Mayan gods into bass music, it would sound like the Mexicans With Guns’ track “Damelo” (or “give it to me”). In fact, the San Antonio producer might be to blame if the 2012 prophesy comes true — dubstep this dark could certainly summon a legion of succubi.
7. Azealia Banks — “212″
Simply put, this is one of the best songs of 2011, so you should probably hear it before you disintegrate.
8. Nader Sadek — “Sulffer”
Hard to believe we’ve gotten this far without any metal on the list. Cairo-born Nader Sadek is dropping tense metal and visual art inspired by petroleum, death, and decay.
9. Spoek Mathambo — “Control”
South Africa’s Spoek Mathambo sounds like a hellion from the underworld in “Control,” a dark kuduro-style bass track and Joy Division cover. Spoek’s end of days is a vision of children seizing. Enjoy the anxiety!
10. Mr. Muthaf***in’ Exquire ft. Das Racist, Danny Brown, El-P — “The Last Hurrah”
Photo Courtesy of Das Racist
‘Cause at the end of it all, you just gotta laugh. So kick back and watch the world — and ample blunts — burn with Mr. Muthaf*ckin’ Exquire, Das Racist and gang on “The Last Hurrah.”
Top Photo Courtesy of Getty Images